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8:30am
8:30am
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Gustav. We hardly knew ye.
A little rain, a little wind.
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Last night, me and the sweet girl were sitting on the couch watching some TV and I ran across something strange.
MTV actually had some music videos on it. I remember when they launched MTV2 and the whole idea was that they would show some videos again. Well, I think that went right out the window and they are just rerunning all of their crap on that channel too.
I will admit that My Super Sweet 16 is a guilty pleasure. It's a train wreck that I just can't take my eyes off of. And at least once during an episode I am treated to a spoiled little 16 year old girl throwing a ape shit crazy temper tantrum. I don't know about you, but that cracks my shit up every time.
Anywho, back to the videos.
Hip hop videos are some of my favorite even though the music is not. They all have certain things that make them hip hop videos. Cars, Cash, Bottles of Booze, Hot Chicks, Parties etc etc. This is the first time that I am going to try and write out a scoring system. I'd make it a drinking game, but we'd all be shit faced after one video.
The Hip Hop Video Ranking Guide. The Perfect Hip Hop Video must:
• Start with Film Style Credits
• The Necklace Gesture: Grabbing the oversized Necklace and gesturing with it
• The “Wad O’ Cash”: Someone will have a big wad of money either rolled up or fanned out. Suitcases full of money also count
• The Open Bottle of Booze or Champagne: Someone will be holding the bottle, and often dancing with it.
• A Woman in a Bikini Nowhere near a Pool or Beach: Ok, to be fair this a staple of music videos from way back. But it took hip hop to over do it.
• Hot Car. There will be Two Points awarded for a Car that is not driven only rapped in front of.
• The “Grill Face”: For each occurrence of “The Grill Face” . This is when a rapper has a grill and make a really stupid face to show it off. Two Points if it’s a Lower Grill.
• Party Scene: This can be a house party, a club or a BBQ. Two Points if it's a Pool Party.
• Cameo from an established rapper. Two Points for Puff Daddy (or Diddy) 3 Points for a Dead Rapper on a TShirt (Eazy E, Biggie, TuPac)
• Point for the one White Guy. Two Points if the White Guy is playing a cop. Three points for a Black Cop
• Gesture to the logo of a local sports team (One Point)
• Cell Phone. Two Points if they actually Rap into the Cell.
• Insinuation of a Threesome. One Point
• A little kid dancing / rapping One Point.
• Cigars!
• Commercial If any product is shown in such a manner that the logo is prominently displayed. Shoes and Cell phones are Notorious. One Point.
These things would make the perfect rap video. Go ahead, check it out. Just for your convienece I have included a link to Lil Boosie's "Wipe Me Down"
This Video scored a whopping 9! If it had a white cop rapping into a cell phone while arresting Snoop Dogg we'd have a winnner.
Holla,
Landon
Posted by landon at July 27, 2007 12:25 PM
Pimpin'...it ain't easy.
Posted by: Justin at August 3, 2007 11:00 AM