www.flickr.com
Beach's Blog
Kendra's Photos
pretentious
Green Drinks ...
It's not easy being "green" ....
A Special Circle of Hell ....
Burlesque In Key West, one hell of a ride ...
The Political Clusterfuck of Florida ...
The Turn Signal: 1936 - 2007
HA!
« Cuz ..... | Main | This post has been brought to you by Bud Light ... »
So the phone rang at about 4AM this morning. It was just a wrong number, but I was scared.
Last night when I left work, I had 6 people who had not made it into Key West yet. Most of the charm of my properties is made up of the front desk staff. When people arrive after hours it's normally fine. I have a letter waiting for them explaining where there room is and that we will see them at 9:00 am to finish paperwork and all that jazz. Also on this letter is an Emergency Contact Number which is to a cell phone carried by one of my staff members.
Now for a little test. Which one of the following in an EMERGENCY:
A. The Room you are walking into has a dead hooker on the floor.
B. You can't find a parking spot on the empty street in front of you.
C. You Saw a Lizard on the Way Down to Key West.
D. none of the above.
The correct answer is D. We provide the dead hooker at no extra charge to you (the live hookers are too expensive, we are a budget property after all).
You'd be amazed at some of the late night calls. Most of them are the dumbest questions. Half of the things they ask are detailed for them in the letter that was left for them. You feel bad asking:
"Did you read the letter on the gate"
"Which Letter?"
"Okay, do you see all the letters there on the gate?"
"Yes"
"Okay, does one of those letters have your name on it in big black, sharpie induced letters?"
"Yes, we have the letter."
"Did you read the letter?"
"..... no"
This is not uncommon. We aren't talking about a novel here. We are talking a page broken up into information such as office hours, where you can park, directions to your room. Hell, you can SKIM the letter and get what you need.
Whenever you have 6 People arriving late, it means that they are stuck in traffic coming down the keys (don't ever let any try and tell you that you can make it down the Florida Keys in 2 Hours). This means that everyone is going to arrive in a pissy mood. Also on a weekend like this one, most people are coming down from Florida so they aren't charmed by our Palm Trees and warm weather. Top it off today with it raining.
I'm going to get some bitchy people today. One lady was at breakfast complaining that it was partly cloudy, then proceeded to tell me that she was from South Florida so she knows our weather. Yeah honey, like the leathery tan skin and the fake tits didn't tell me you were from Miami / Lauderdale area.
I hate being part of Florida sometimes..... most of the time.
ok, all of the time.
Posted by landon at May 26, 2007 11:45 AM
Landon, quit pandering to the necrophelia convention industry!
Posted by: Justin at May 29, 2007 10:31 AM
Landon, quit pandering to the necrophelia convention industry!
Posted by: Justin at May 29, 2007 10:31 AM
Landon, quit pandering to the necrophelia convention industry!
Posted by: Justin at May 29, 2007 10:31 AM
Justin, quit pandering to the stuttering community!
Posted by: David at May 29, 2007 3:05 PM
Justin, quit pandering to the stuttering community!
Posted by: David at May 29, 2007 3:11 PM
I'll quit pandering to the frozen "post" button. Sorry. Gesh.
Posted by: Justin at May 29, 2007 4:43 PM
dude. if there's a dead hooker in my room, I'm calling the emergency number.
if there's a live hooker in my room, I'm calling you
eventually.
Posted by: jc at June 7, 2007 4:25 AM